Do I do this—or that? Rest or hold my grandchild? Shop with a friend or stay home? Take care of my health or attend an important meeting? And on and on and on. In our daily lives as chronically ill people, we need decision-making ideas. We face more choices with serious consequences than healthy people do. At least it appears that way to me!
Our church once planned a game and snack night to give members a chance to meet new friends and learn more about old friends. My husband and I added the event to our calendar, planning to attend. However, when that day arrived, it was a tough day for me. Now, I had a decision to make. Did I go, risking awful pain? Or did we stay home and miss our chance to meet new people? (I chose the safe choice, and we missed the fun.) Maybe some new ideas to look at for decision-making would have helped this chronically ill woman.
“It’s not hard to decide what you want your life to be about. What’s hard, she said, is figuring out what you’re willing to give up in order to do the things you really care about.”
Shauna Nyquist, Bittersweet: Thoughts on Change, Grace, and Learning the Hard Way
A succinct description of the dilemma faced by chronically ill people when they must make tough choices.
What to choose? When? How? Where? Who?
As a physically challenged person, you may face many tough choices. Often, time becomes critical in the decision-making process. Knowing yourself, your abilities, and what’s most important to you can shorten that process. It’s all about the tough choices chronically ill people must make. That’s our life!
The following ideas approach decision-making from a different angle, even for the chronically ill. But I bring them to your attention because this unique way of thinking may stimulate your thoughts.
These areas to consider are based on “Life Choices: Five Ways to Make Tough Decisions” published on Centerstone. The original article deals with serious choices military personnel confront. However, it certainly applies to most hard choices. (The article is no longer available.)
Five ideas to consider when making decisions
Look beyond the moment.
- Evaluate the seriousness of this choice.
- Is it a routine, everyday decision?
- Will it determine your future or that of others?
- Be careful not to mistake the two.
- We chronically ill people can easily become absorbed in our problems, but we should examine this issue carefully.
Evaluate a “head choice” versus a “heart choice.”
- Some choices involve what you think; others affect how you feel.
- Think about which type this decision is because it could affect your choice.
Consider if you could survive disappointment with the results.
- Is your decision a life-or-death matter?
- Are deep emotions involved?
- Will your decision affect your quality of life?
Respect the effect on and influence of others.
- Although you must live with the consequences, consider what people you respect think.
- Spouse.
- Medical providers.
- People in your support group.
- Close friends.
Go with what you know.
- Remember what you have learned from living with your challenges.
- Apply that knowledge.
So, what decision-making situations do you, as a chronically ill person, face today? I hope these ideas help you clarify your choice.
What choices do you usually face?
See other areas we chronically ill people must consider in this Psychology Today article. Find more decision-making ideas.
Chapter 9, Stormy Transitions—Acceptance and New Purpose, in our book, Sunbreak in Unending Storms, deals with changes in our new, more limited, lives.
