I adapted this 2018 post written for my website, Navigating the Storms, which discussed New Year’s resolutions for chronically ill people. Hopefully, it will resonate with you, helping you adjust to your limitations.
My apologies for the six months of silence since our last post. On August 5th, FJ and I were in a dreadful car accident; our injuries weren’t serious—only two broken ribs and one bruised artery. Since we landed driver’s side down, we feel very blessed. However, we experienced ramifications for months and are just now recovering our normal lives.
New Year’s Post
January: a new beginning! Reflect on 2025! Anticipate 2026! Prepare—new experiences coming!
Let’s think back on this past year and take a minute to recall the yucky stuff. I know, an unpleasant step. Certainly not to our liking?
Then, we look forward to 2026 and figure out how to change that junk.
What will I change?
As we work through these ideas, I’ll get personal and use a real-life example.
I don’t cope well with change! Unfortunately, in my situation, change seems to be my middle name.
When I’m already fatigued and I drop something and it costs me an extra thirty seconds and a lot of extra energy to pick it up, too often I resort to whining. Especially at FJ, and it wasn’t his fault! He just happened to ask me something at the wrong time.
My husband has been a fantastic partner through these forty-seven years of problems. He is incredibly supportive and understanding. Which makes it even more unreasonable for me to snap at him when something I’m trying to do goes wrong. Especially when it has nothing to do with him!
As invisibly disabled people, we have more physical problems than most. Coping can be difficult. Nevertheless, we still get excited about life.
Here we go!
As we anticipate 2026 with hope, we need to assess the past, contemplate possibilities for change, and make specific plans to achieve change.
My primary goal to resolve this year is to stop grumbling at FJ. However, what is your biggest problem area? Diet? Relationships? Finances? Attitude? Exercise? Examine the following strategy. Work through the steps. Then, by this time next year, you can look for improvement in your chosen area.
So let’s get started!
My plans are in italics.
Evaluate how you respond to life
- Name one specific area in which you’d like to improve.
- Mine is to stop snapping at FJ. It isn’t fair to him nor helpful to my emotionl state.
Reflect on 2025
- What were you doing wrong? Or what precipitated the situation?
- I think frequently, if not mostly, it happened when I was fatigued and trying to do something I probably shouldn’t.
- Secondarily, it happened when FJ spoke to me while I was upset about something else. He had no reason to suspect I was disturbed, though.
Anticipate 2026
- What outcome do you want?
- I would like to stop whining at FJ completely, but that probably isn’t realistic. Too bad. So, I would settle for cutting it down by 75%.
- What can you do differently?
- Seek to cut down the number of times I’m doing a little bit more than I should.
- Stop trying to do unrealistic activities.
- Realize I’m talking to FJ in an unpleasant tone.
Plan for your change
- Name specific, measurable, realistic actions you can take.
- This is where it gets hard for me. Specific is easy, but measurable is difficult. However, I’ll try.
- First, I’ll design a chart using Excel. I should use columns for date, time, activity, my feelings, precipitating event.
- Next, and harder, remember to fill out the chart.
- Last, figure out how to assign values to various aspects so I can evaluate how I’m doing.
- As time goes by, I will see progress—or lack thereof.
- This is where it gets hard for me. Specific is easy, but measurable is difficult. However, I’ll try.
- Don’t forget to judge how you’re doing periodically.
In closing
It is possible—theoretically, anyway—to change the way we cope. Diet and exercise can make us feel better, so it’s easier to cope. Improving finances relieves stress. Attitudes and relationships impact all parts of our lives. So, whatever you’re seeking to change should make coping easier.
So, considering New Year’s resolutions for chronically ill Carole, how did she do in 2018? Did she improve? Some. But she did not make the chart. Same resolution in 2026, but with the chart? Sounds like a good idea for this year.
Happy New Year to you all.
Share with us
Is there a time in the past you made a New Year’s resolution concerning coping with your chronic condition?
Did it work?
Investigate further
For more ideas, see this New Year’s post.
Deepthi Sudhir Nair was diagnosed in 2016 with myasthenia gravis. Read her five New Year’s resolutions for 2017. Each has to do with coping and accepting her new life. It may be nine years old, but her ideas will still work
In addition to ideas about Making New Year’s resolutions, I share about my life in 2017. Unfortunately, my limitations have only become more complicated.
